Eye to Wonder

            Our family celebrated Rosh Hashanah this month. This year, we had a smaller celebration than usual, but it was nice to gather with friends outside, light candles, and wish each other a sweet New Year with apples and honey. I didn't grow up celebrating Jewish New Year, but since Joel and I have been together, we've celebrated most Jewish holidays.  One aspect of the holiday that was new to me this year was Tashlikh.  Joel mentioned that he wanted to bring bread to the river for Tashlikh when we went for a walk the other day with my mother and sister-in-law. Tashlikh, is a ritual where you throw bread crumbs into a moving body of water. As far as I understand it, each crumb represents casting off a sin from the previous year and a clean start. Although neither of us are very religious, tashlikh was more meaningful to me than I would have thought.  There's something about taking time to reflect on moments in the past year when y...

      I have enjoyed creating monthly goals since May this year, and I even sat down to write September goals. For whatever reason, I really struggled to think of goals that felt meaningful or motivating this month. I wrote down a few, but within two days I decided to crumple up the list.      Right now, everything feels new. This school year is different for everyone, and will shift as we move to hybrid in the next month or so if case counts stay consistent. I think I'm resisting the idea of writing specific concrete goals for September because it feels arbitrary. Life feels uncertain now, and for me, I'm finding it easier to experiment with and explore different ways of connecting and growing in this back to school season. Somehow writing down a list for an entire month makes me feel anxious, whereas making daily or weekly lists of projects or ideas makes me feel creative and adaptive. Strangely, once I just started focusing on the next step, I found myse...

         One of my favorite reads this year has been The Ten Thousand Doors of January  by Alix E. Harrow. There's a paragraph that I've thought about a lot in the months since I read it. The chapter, "On Loss," begins, "No one really remembers there own origins. Most of us possess a hazy mythology about our early childhood, a set of stories told and retold by our parents, interwoven with our blurred baby memories. They tell us about the time we nearly died crawling down the stairs after the family cat; the way we used to smile in our sleep during thunderstorms; our first words and steps and birthday cakes. They tell us a hundred different stories, which are all the same story: We love you and have always loved you ."           When I read this, it resonated with me and reinforced something I've thought about often since becoming a parent. We are the keeper of Avi's days and memories from this time in her life. She doesn't have...

     The plus side of not writing this post until August 8th is that I've already got started on lots of these goals! August is always a big month of transition for our family. Joel's starting a new semester of grad school and TA-ing, and it's the start of a new school year for me. Back to school looks very different with Covid. Both of us are starting the year virtually, and so I'm trying to think creatively about ways to connect with a new group of students and families. This year Avi's starting at daycare too! It's the first time she's ever been cared for outside of our home, but so far we've been really happy with her teachers and the set up. I think she will love being around other kiddos too.      Given all these big changes, and the air of uncertainty that comes with back to school this year, I tried to focus on goals that would support overall well-being without being too ambitious. My biggest goal for the month is to give ourselves time and comp...

        Like most of us, I'm experiencing a lot of uncertainty about what this school year will be like. I've never taught in a hybrid model before, and I'm trying to be flexible in thinking through how to design my classroom for this format and aware that plans could change.      I'm finding my brain turning to what ifs and ruminating, but one thing that's been really helpful is turning my attention towards creating something. I'm really grateful that I got to take so many awesome professional development classes this summer, and one that I've been coming back to a lot is the book study of Intention: Critical Creativity in the Classroom  by Amy Burvell and Dan Ryder (see the above quote). One key idea of the book is that creativity is for everyone. I definitely have had a boxed up definition of creativity as solely artistic talent. The idea that "creativity is a birthright," stuck in my mind and made me broaden my ideas of creativity. When I foun...

          One struggle this year was managing nagging thoughts; I'd think of work at home and home at work. It was hard to be present in the moment because there was always so much left to do. My time at home with Avi felt precious, so I resented the intrusion of work thoughts into family time.       One day I decided to take two minutes to jot down everything I needed to do later. Having everything written down freed my brain from having to remember these tasks, and I found myself feeling lighter and more playful with Avi.       This feeling is key when spending lots of time with a baby. At least in my experience, time with infants is unstructured enough to give you plenty of time to ruminate on your to-dos without actually giving you any time to complete them. Writing down these to-dos helped me feel organized even if I couldn't act on these ideas right away. With the extra head space, I was in a better frame of min...

     It's hard to keep up with our forever changing, on the move girl! Her first birthday was on Monday. I want to take a moment to capture what it's like to have a one-year-old, and what Avi is like at this age. In the midst of all that is uncertain in this moment, I want to hold on to some of these memories, especially because she changes so quickly!     I want to remember:    Avi's first word yesterday--Mama. ❤  how she loves to drum on everything and is constantly moving.  her love of all berries and the way she looks intently into your eyes when she signs "more."   the way she loves to take things out of containers (like drawers, boxes, cabinets etc.).  her love of the outdoors and fascination with pine cones, grass, and flowers.   her laugh and smile when she is on the swing.  the way she looks up to find airplanes and birds in the sky.   how much she loves to read, turn pages, and point to things...