I have enjoyed creating monthly goals since May this year, and I even sat down to write September goals. For whatever reason, I really struggled to think of goals that felt meaningful or motivating this month. I wrote down a few, but within two days I decided to crumple up the list.
Right now, everything feels new. This school year is different for everyone, and will shift as we move to hybrid in the next month or so if case counts stay consistent. I think I'm resisting the idea of writing specific concrete goals for September because it feels arbitrary. Life feels uncertain now, and for me, I'm finding it easier to experiment with and explore different ways of connecting and growing in this back to school season. Somehow writing down a list for an entire month makes me feel anxious, whereas making daily or weekly lists of projects or ideas makes me feel creative and adaptive. Strangely, once I just started focusing on the next step, I found myself feeling a lot more motivated.
Right now my default ways of teaching, socializing, and parenting don't always fit life in a pandemic, and it feels very freeing to embrace possibilities and shift as I get more experience of what life is like right now. I love listening to the Truth For Teachers podcast, and I keep coming back to the Angela's question: what do I want to be like on the other side of this pandemic? What is possible now, that wouldn't be possible in a normal year? Asking these questions really helps me to feel grounded in this moment, instead of looking back and comparing it to what I've done in the past or what might happen in the next months.
I'm sure I'll go back to making monthly goals in the future, but for right now I'm doing a lot of daily priority lists and trying to figure out what ideas feel right in this context instead of trying to project what things might be like at the end of the month. I'm hiding my phone and starting a new journal. We're spending lots of time at the park and watching Avi dig in the sand. I'm designing new projects, lessons, and ways of learning within the constraints of the virtual format, and I'm so grateful to have an amazing group of kiddos that are learning and adapting with me and each other. I'm grateful for less smoky sky this week and time outside with friends. I'm grateful to curl up on the couch with Joel watching Terrace House and eating cookies at the end of the day. I'm adding in a little more time reading after letting that take a backseat in the last month.
Shifting to a sense of what feels right or possible in this moment feels energizing and joyful in a way that trying to plan far off doesn't right now. Is anyone else feeling this resistance to planning ahead?
What a nice post. I really like the quotes you shared. Great gratitude list, too. :) I feel like I have quite a few "balls in the air" at the moment with a couple of household projects, my kids going back to school and just some other random personal stuff, so I am with you on taking it more day by day right now. I just don't really have the mental bandwidth to tackle my big monthly goals, either. I do have some that I'm eyeing, but for the most part I am also trying to focus just a couple days at a time. I have been finding that lately, even if I write down "XX" from my monthly list on my weekly or daily, I end up just not doing it. When I see that happening too often, it's a sign I need to just step back a little.
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