This Must Be the Place

A few weeks back, we were talking to some friends on zoom when I noticed a colorful framed print in the background that said, "This Must be the Place." I asked her about it--it was beautiful, and also the title of a Maggie O'Farrell book I read last year that I loved. She said she didn't know about the book, but that it referred to a song she liked.

Ever since then, it keeps flitting in and out my mind. It's such a strange time with a global pandemic and the normal rituals and spaces that connect us are completely disrupted. Some days I leave my house and just feel this jaw-dropping sense of how much has already been shattered--people who are sick or have died, and how many businesses and store fronts are shuttered. But other days I feel so absorbed in my family, my students and navigating virtual teaching, and chasing after my increasingly mobile 10-month old that the big picture of the situation feels far away.

I think "this must be the place" captures that feeling of both. None of us would have wished for this moment, and also this is the place we are currently inhabiting. This is my daughter's one year of being an infant, and this must be the place where I share her many discoveries and sense of wonder about the world around her. This is my first year of work postpartum, and this must be the place I find my way back to my love of teaching after the first turbulent swirl of going back to work, even if right now teaching is barely recognizable to the way it was before Covid. I miss being with my students and celebrating the year in a haze of field days and end of the year picnics, and I can find what ways are still available to connect.

This must be the place I show up as the person, partner, mother, and teacher I want to be--to sort out what I can control from what I can't.

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