I recently read Daria’s post on 5 Things That Help My Mental Health and particularly resonated with what she wrote about laying off her phone and how she hates it and also loves aspects of it.I know that this is a common feeling and it’s something I think about a lot. In the past, I have found myself drawn to different tech solutions to this problem like the Brick that blocks apps or the Light phone which doesn’t have access to an internet browser and instead only has basic apps like podcasts, music, a camera, and maps. In the end though, there are things that are convenient about having an iPhone, and it seems silly to buy a new phone or thing when mine still works.
The thing I dislike about my phone is that it’s easy during a tough parenting moment or when I feel bored to pick up the phone and skim the NYT webpage, a blog, or substack. None of these things are bad on their own, but I don’t like that I’m pulling myself away from my own life and my kids. It definitely doesn’t make a hard moment better, and for me it feels like a bad habit.
Thinking about all of this has made me realize I could try to emulate the Light phone by only using the apps I’m ok with in an effort to be more present with my family and feel more relaxed. Right now that looks like cutting out all Safari use and the substack app (except the bonus podcasts from Pantsuit Politics). Apps I’m ok with are: podcasts, camera, google drive (grocery lists and packing lists mostly), StoryGraph, Goodreads, Libby, the Weather app, and Apple Music. I leave my phone on ringer more often because that way I don’t have to check and see if I’ve missed any calls or messages. I realize that I’m lucky my life doesn’t really require me to use my phone for email since I’m a stay-at-home mom, and this definitely wouldn’t work for everyone for a variety of reasons.
Since starting this last week, I’ve noticed it’s going pretty well. I appreciate that it doesn’t feel like an option to reach for my phone just to check the news or a blog post in random 10 second bursts. Instead I can check on those things when I’m already at my computer. I’ve opened Safari a couple of times when I’ve forgotten, but generally immediately close the app. A few exceptions I’ve made that I’m ok with: pulling up directions when jumping a neighbor's car, pulling up an image to help a girl in the Daisy troop draw something on her mug during a recent meeting, and using a qr code to do a riddle game with my daughter at our local library.
I started this experiment on a whim midway through last week and am curious to see if it continues to feel helpful. What about you? What’s working, or not, about your phone use? Have you ever tried to set more boundaries around it?
The thing I dislike about my phone is that it’s easy during a tough parenting moment or when I feel bored to pick up the phone and skim the NYT webpage, a blog, or substack. None of these things are bad on their own, but I don’t like that I’m pulling myself away from my own life and my kids. It definitely doesn’t make a hard moment better, and for me it feels like a bad habit.
Thinking about all of this has made me realize I could try to emulate the Light phone by only using the apps I’m ok with in an effort to be more present with my family and feel more relaxed. Right now that looks like cutting out all Safari use and the substack app (except the bonus podcasts from Pantsuit Politics). Apps I’m ok with are: podcasts, camera, google drive (grocery lists and packing lists mostly), StoryGraph, Goodreads, Libby, the Weather app, and Apple Music. I leave my phone on ringer more often because that way I don’t have to check and see if I’ve missed any calls or messages. I realize that I’m lucky my life doesn’t really require me to use my phone for email since I’m a stay-at-home mom, and this definitely wouldn’t work for everyone for a variety of reasons.
Since starting this last week, I’ve noticed it’s going pretty well. I appreciate that it doesn’t feel like an option to reach for my phone just to check the news or a blog post in random 10 second bursts. Instead I can check on those things when I’m already at my computer. I’ve opened Safari a couple of times when I’ve forgotten, but generally immediately close the app. A few exceptions I’ve made that I’m ok with: pulling up directions when jumping a neighbor's car, pulling up an image to help a girl in the Daisy troop draw something on her mug during a recent meeting, and using a qr code to do a riddle game with my daughter at our local library.
I started this experiment on a whim midway through last week and am curious to see if it continues to feel helpful. What about you? What’s working, or not, about your phone use? Have you ever tried to set more boundaries around it?
It's just me, so I don't worry too much about my phone usage, although I do waste a lot of time on it. The days my granddaughters are here, they keep me too busy to even glance at my phone. I hope your ideas work for you!
ReplyDeleteI have definitely been more mindful in the past few years about my phone usage. You're right, it's just so easy to reach for it! I make sure to always have a book in my bag when I'm out, so I have something to do if I have to wait. I also try to NOT bring out my phone when I'm in line, but instead to (nosy) look around at what other people have in their grocery carts, what the gossip magazines say, etc. It makes me more present to my surroundings. Also, I find SM really kind of sucks these days - it's all ads and suggested pages - so it's not hard for me to resist.
ReplyDeleteUgh I waste so much time scrolling social media. SO MUCH TIME.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty happy with my phone use, but I am mindful of not bringing it out everytime I have a down moment. I have got pretty good about just sitting and waiting most of the time. You see some interesting things some of the time, otherwise I daydream.
ReplyDeleteI don't have an issue with my phone, which is weird because I do have addiction issues with other things (ie food.) Maybe it's because I didn't grow up with it- even when my kids were little I didn't have a smart phone. Every once in a while I'll pick up my phone and go down a rabbit hole, and then I feel really icky and put it away. For the most part I'm able to pick it up, look at what I need in that moment, and then put it away. I wish I could be this moderate with, say, potato chips.
ReplyDeleteThat's awesome that you're able to moderate it well! I can moderate lots of other things better than tech. Weird.
DeleteI mostly use my phone to listen to my rosary podcast or use speechify when I run. I have a lot of kids out in the world, so I keep it nearby because one never knows when a kid will need me. Yesterday Reg texted me last minute that he was gonna be on a call for accommodations with his college, and I was able to join. I'm home babysitting so I also use the camera a ton. I also use FB to post photos of my tots in a group for their parents. I do read blogs on it, esp when I'm feeding a baby a bottle. I don't do tictoc or insta or social media in general. I check my email. I have FB but don't really use it much.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you are on top of your A game and paying attention to when you use your phone is a step in the right direction.
Ohhh my most favorite topic of all time.
ReplyDeleteI do the version of light phone, too: podcasts when I’m in the car, Spotify for music, insight timer for meditation, maps, Google suite (drive, keep for lists), occasional email.
I think I’m gonna remove most of the shopping apps… since I browse them without any aim or purpose.
Wordpress but that’s my writing itch that needs to be scratched. Freely to read fellow bloggers.
And of course the most boring one- PHONE and contacts lol
I do not like to see my kids see me on my phone, I just don’t. In fact when I hear they approach I tuck it away. UNLESS, they want to see something specific (which is rare), like sumo wrestling in Japan (??)
Daria
Our phones are curses and blessings. I love that it connects me with my family overseas, that I can talk to them and "see" them. Many apps are useful and make daily life easier, but yeah, I also waste too much time scrolling. I am however very conscious about phone use around other people - I refuse to be the person that stares at her phone while my friend is sitting next to me.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I have noticed from doing week in the life is how much time I waste just SCROLLING. So much scrolling! My screen time usage is high so I knew it was a problem, but this exercise has really opened my eyes to all of the wasted hours. Sigh. I want something that basically sends me a nudge if I've been on my phone for more than 15 minutes or something. Sometimes it's not just social media, but games or Happy Color (my addiction, lol).
ReplyDelete