I recently read Daria’s post on 5 Things That Help My Mental Health and particularly resonated with what she wrote about laying off her phone and how she hates it and also loves aspects of it.I know that this is a common feeling and it’s something I think about a lot. In the past, I have found myself drawn to different tech solutions to this problem like the Brick that blocks apps or the Light phone which doesn’t have access to an internet browser and instead only has basic apps like podcasts, music, a camera, and maps. In the end though, there are things that are convenient about having an iPhone, and it seems silly to buy a new phone or thing when mine still works.
The thing I dislike about my phone is that it’s easy during a tough parenting moment or when I feel bored to pick up the phone and skim the NYT webpage, a blog, or substack. None of these things are bad on their own, but I don’t like that I’m pulling myself away from my own life and my kids. It definitely doesn’t make a hard moment better, and for me it feels like a bad habit.
Thinking about all of this has made me realize I could try to emulate the Light phone by only using the apps I’m ok with in an effort to be more present with my family and feel more relaxed. Right now that looks like cutting out all Safari use and the substack app (except the bonus podcasts from Pantsuit Politics). Apps I’m ok with are: podcasts, camera, google drive (grocery lists and packing lists mostly), StoryGraph, Goodreads, Libby, the Weather app, and Apple Music. I leave my phone on ringer more often because that way I don’t have to check and see if I’ve missed any calls or messages. I realize that I’m lucky my life doesn’t really require me to use my phone for email since I’m a stay-at-home mom, and this definitely wouldn’t work for everyone for a variety of reasons.
Since starting this last week, I’ve noticed it’s going pretty well. I appreciate that it doesn’t feel like an option to reach for my phone just to check the news or a blog post in random 10 second bursts. Instead I can check on those things when I’m already at my computer. I’ve opened Safari a couple of times when I’ve forgotten, but generally immediately close the app. A few exceptions I’ve made that I’m ok with: pulling up directions when jumping a neighbor's car, pulling up an image to help a girl in the Daisy troop draw something on her mug during a recent meeting, and using a qr code to do a riddle game with my daughter at our local library.
I started this experiment on a whim midway through last week and am curious to see if it continues to feel helpful. What about you? What’s working, or not, about your phone use? Have you ever tried to set more boundaries around it?
The thing I dislike about my phone is that it’s easy during a tough parenting moment or when I feel bored to pick up the phone and skim the NYT webpage, a blog, or substack. None of these things are bad on their own, but I don’t like that I’m pulling myself away from my own life and my kids. It definitely doesn’t make a hard moment better, and for me it feels like a bad habit.
Thinking about all of this has made me realize I could try to emulate the Light phone by only using the apps I’m ok with in an effort to be more present with my family and feel more relaxed. Right now that looks like cutting out all Safari use and the substack app (except the bonus podcasts from Pantsuit Politics). Apps I’m ok with are: podcasts, camera, google drive (grocery lists and packing lists mostly), StoryGraph, Goodreads, Libby, the Weather app, and Apple Music. I leave my phone on ringer more often because that way I don’t have to check and see if I’ve missed any calls or messages. I realize that I’m lucky my life doesn’t really require me to use my phone for email since I’m a stay-at-home mom, and this definitely wouldn’t work for everyone for a variety of reasons.
Since starting this last week, I’ve noticed it’s going pretty well. I appreciate that it doesn’t feel like an option to reach for my phone just to check the news or a blog post in random 10 second bursts. Instead I can check on those things when I’m already at my computer. I’ve opened Safari a couple of times when I’ve forgotten, but generally immediately close the app. A few exceptions I’ve made that I’m ok with: pulling up directions when jumping a neighbor's car, pulling up an image to help a girl in the Daisy troop draw something on her mug during a recent meeting, and using a qr code to do a riddle game with my daughter at our local library.
I started this experiment on a whim midway through last week and am curious to see if it continues to feel helpful. What about you? What’s working, or not, about your phone use? Have you ever tried to set more boundaries around it?
It's just me, so I don't worry too much about my phone usage, although I do waste a lot of time on it. The days my granddaughters are here, they keep me too busy to even glance at my phone. I hope your ideas work for you!
ReplyDeleteI have definitely been more mindful in the past few years about my phone usage. You're right, it's just so easy to reach for it! I make sure to always have a book in my bag when I'm out, so I have something to do if I have to wait. I also try to NOT bring out my phone when I'm in line, but instead to (nosy) look around at what other people have in their grocery carts, what the gossip magazines say, etc. It makes me more present to my surroundings. Also, I find SM really kind of sucks these days - it's all ads and suggested pages - so it's not hard for me to resist.
ReplyDeleteUgh I waste so much time scrolling social media. SO MUCH TIME.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty happy with my phone use, but I am mindful of not bringing it out everytime I have a down moment. I have got pretty good about just sitting and waiting most of the time. You see some interesting things some of the time, otherwise I daydream.
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