About a week ago, we were having a tough morning. One of my kids was really tired and not in the mood to go to school or get ready. Then out of nowhere, she asks, “isn’t there a painting kit I got for Christmas we haven’t opened yet?” My immediate instinct was to say that she had to get ready for school first or that we didn’t have that much time and painting was messy, but then I thought that maybe this was a moment she needed to reset. And while we didn’t have tons of time to paint, we did have a little. So we busted out the paints and both girls were happily immersed in painting with brushes of all different colored textures.
As I tidied the kitchen and watched the kids paint, I remembered a phrase from a book I read several years ago, “beware the soul sucking force of reasonableness” from The Power of Moments by Chip and Dan Heath. It would have been reasonable to stick to the routine, or push off painting until after school. A lot of days, I would have made that choice. But, by choosing the less reasonable choice, it totally turned around my daughter’s mood and created a moment of sisterly connection. When it was time to clean up paints and start getting ready, she moved through the getting routine much faster than she would have if I had to nag her to it earlier.
I’m not trying to say everyone should always say yes to a messy project first thing in the morning. For many people the schedule is too tight in the morning to make that work, and there are definitely many days we wouldn’t have had the time to do so. There are also days where I feel at capacity and don’t want to add in extras. But I do like the point the quote makes: it can be easier to always stick to the routine or reasonable choice, but detouring from the reasonable can make for some really fun moments. I think I especially resonate with this quote because I’m not always good at being spontaneous; I like sticking to the routine. It’s nice to remember that there can be real upsides to an unexpected yes as a parent.
Do you have any good memories from times you or someone you were with deviated from a routine or rule or did something less reasonable than usual? Are there other quotes that have popped into your head at random moments?

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